just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
