im gay
i know
yea but for you.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
