And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Ketchup is God's man juice
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
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