Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
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