I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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