you would pick up someone in the library
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
