he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
