I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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