we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Randomize
