im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
