Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
