Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
