we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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