guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
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