Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
