i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
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