Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
