when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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