In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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