shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
