don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Green mimosas i think yes
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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