I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
