The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
