I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize