Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
