i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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