hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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