your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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