I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I have so many feelings about this burrito
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
