The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
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She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
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This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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