great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
