Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(419): View more from Ohio

Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.

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(507): View more from Minnesota

Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.

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(314): View more from Missouri

I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day

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(301): View more from Maryland

If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.

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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life

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(919): View more from North Carolina

You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.

(919): View more from North Carolina

We are taking your truck.

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(605): View more from South Dakota

IT'S PERFEFT

(1-605): View more from South Dakota

... what?

(605): View more from South Dakota

HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.

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