where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
