you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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