i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
You were trust falling into bushes
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
