What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
