I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize
