All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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