He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
