if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
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