You really coming over, don't trick.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
we're chasing vodka with high fives
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Randomize
