it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
21 Dirty Secrets From Bachelor/Bachelorette Parties That Have Destroyed Marriages
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.