fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
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I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
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Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.