Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
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