It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
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i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
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is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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