Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
