I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
