well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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