No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
