her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize