I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
