worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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