it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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