did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Randomize
