sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Randomize
