She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
