Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
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