So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I just had sex on a roof
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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