dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
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